Vehicle Safety Engineers T-Shirts

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Nice park. . .

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

'... and make it look like an accident.'

"Don't worry. The building is earthquake proof, but unfortunately we haven't solved the

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

"Yeah, work is tough, but nothing compared to coming home and stepping on one of the kids' legos."

Alien crash test dummy emerges from downed UFO.

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"Seat belts unfastened? Excellent."

Things you should know about...

Crash Test Dummy's Running Machine

A 'failed' brake check!

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

Male Crash-test Dummy: 'So...would you like to go for a crash in my car?'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'Did I mention the gas mileage?!'

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

"You'd think they'd at least offer health insurance with this job."

"At the first opportunity, make a U-turn."

"Around here, we call it 'Roadkill Highway'. . ."

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

Where airbags should be.