Veggie Vixen Gifts

Queen of Quinoa

Prize vegetables.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Toast at the Ball

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Better Not Squash.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

Complete Makeover

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

'Can I get a Chardonnay over dry ice? I hate it when my wine gets wet.'

"Work with me!"

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

We've been working on them in the wind tunnel...

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

Dreams of Spring...