Veggie Hater Gifts

Polar opposites.

'You wish, Timmy.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

baby sweetcorn...

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

But is it organic?

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

At the market

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

See you at the farmers market!

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

The discovery of asparagus.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'What are you eating now?'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."