Veggie Debater Pillows

TV's hot new political show: Meet the Produce. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. Let's be frank. The Republicans have no fiscal discipline. And the tax-and-spend liberals do? We're not ballooning the deficit! Waging war to promote freedom is not free! You stupid rotten vegetable! You're low in vitamin E! Cut to commercial.

Prize vegetables.

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

'great win, kids! Let's celebrate... My treat!!'

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

'That chap really knows his onions!'

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

The great zucchinis

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'Lettuce pray!'

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

It's Darth Tater!

'What's intravenous feeding? My mom says if I don't eat my vegetables, she'd do that to me!'

'The salad is that expensive because we had to find a new place for the snails and worms.'

"My biggest problem is squatters."

'I feel rootless.'

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

Still life?

'Stephen's down on the allotment, gathering in nature's bounty.'

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

"It makes me feel sort of... guilty!"

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."