Veggie Humorist Pillows

It's Darth Tater!

Potato having a shave.

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'

'I feel rootless.'

'So we're doing a tummy tuck on the aubergine, and an eye-lift on the potato.'

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

New potato

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Two vegans, please."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Better Not Squash.

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

TV's hot new political show: Meet the Produce. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. Let's be frank. The Republicans have no fiscal discipline. And the tax-and-spend liberals do? We're not ballooning the deficit! Waging war to promote freedom is not free! You stupid rotten vegetable! You're low in vitamin E! Cut to commercial.

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

Two vegetarians please.

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

Free salad bar.

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

The vegan hunter

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

Spinach Dating.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

Tomato, zucchini or grapefruit? Balloons. Vegan Clowns.

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'