Vegetation Virtuoso T-Shirts

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Prize vegetables.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Allotment

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

Vegetable Cook

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

Planting veggies

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Cooking with Pierre

Mom's restaurant - 'You can't leave until you've eaten your greens.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Onion Tears

Rap-scallions

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Avocado Timeline

'Coleridge'