Vegetarian Joker Pillows

"That little piggy can't have roast beef - I'm a vegetarian!"

"I'll be submitting a request for an artichoke heart."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Better Not Squash.

Pope tarts.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

'I'll have the diet special followed by a triple helping of chocolate sponge cake.'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

'It's her signature dish.'

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"