Vegetarian Joker Prints

"That little piggy can't have roast beef - I'm a vegetarian!"

"I'll be submitting a request for an artichoke heart."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Better Not Squash.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

'I'll have the diet special followed by a triple helping of chocolate sponge cake.'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

'It's her signature dish.'

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

Jim's Smart Kettle

'... Got anything besides apples?'