Vegetable Warriors Pillows

'...and even though the rest of us hate brussel sprouts, we thank you Lord for the food you've provided for us.'

Hell's Allotment Holders.

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

“Children hate me.”

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

Pumpkin Time!

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

'... Got anything besides apples?'

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

The vegan hunter

"You said we were going to break bread, Mom. These are vegetables."

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Planet earth was again safe, Lenny a true hero and his brussel sprouts, for one, not wasted!!'

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

'Tomato Surprise. Bean Surprise. Carrot Surprise. Why are you always so surprised when my garden produces?'

'Hey, a fly! This is supposed to be vegetarian soup.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

The Last Dinner

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

I'm a vegan triathlete

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

"Is it safe to assume that the meat is laced with antibiotics and the salad is chockfull of pesticides?"

"We'll be using a pig's kidney in the transplant....Suit yourself, we'll try a turnip, good luck with that!"

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'