Vegetable Plot Detective T-Shirts

"For the second night in a row, someone has mysteriously added soil to my vegetable patch - the plot thickens!"

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

Onion Tears

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Rap-scallions

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Avocado Timeline

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'He's all eyes!'

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."