Vegetable Storyteller T-Shirts

"'Twas always folly, dear cousin. A humble parsnip could never be wed to an aubergine."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

Onion Tears

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Rap-scallions

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Avocado Timeline

'He's all eyes!'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman