Vegetable Artist T-Shirts

'I hope you don't mind the broccoli -- I couldn't find a carrot.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Horti-Culture

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Onion Tears

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Rap-scallions

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Avocado Timeline

'He's all eyes!'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

Gardener of the Year.

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.