Vegan Aficionado Gifts

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"There you are, sir. Pretend to enjoy."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

See you at the farmers market!

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Two vegans, please."

"Is there a vegan option?"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Roasted Peppers

"Albino broccoli mum!"

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

Peas on Earth.

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

'Rob is a vegan.'

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'Are carrots good for your eyes? Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?'