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Perfect Match

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Le Penseur (D' Apres Rodin)

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Cap'n Ahab, Sir! Starbuck wants to know if you fancy a coffee.'

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Early cave painters

"Love your feng shui!"