Variety Seeker Pillows

"Salad again! How about some beef for a change?"

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Bad for you but to die for

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Useless add-ons.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Fresh pepper?"

"Eat my dust!"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Mohammad's motors

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

Toenail clipping missile.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.