Vanity Humorists Gifts

"She's definitely had work done on her tail."

"I'd like to return this mirror, its reflection looks older than I feel."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"This stool shall pass."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

Business man sees himself as a shark

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

The only Washroom on the South Pole.

His & hers towels.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

Magic Act

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

"Hurry up Dad, I need the loo!"

Batman tissue dispenser.

Bed and Breakfast

Monkey Pee/Monkey Poo.

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Feeeeeeeeed me, Seymooooooooor.'

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

Soap recovery Ship in bath

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

The Rural Bidet...

Duck in a bathtub

Cow Wash Cycle.

"Yeah, hello travel agent, Danger Noodle needth getaway."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'