Vanity Humor Fan Gifts

'I hear she's had liposuction.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

Fly fishing.

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

The caricature of Dorian Gray

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"Does my brain look big in this?"

Confessional bathroom

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

Jungle dweller swings from outhouse with toilet paper stuck to his foot.

Tanning Machine on the beach