Vanity Fair Lovers T-Shirts

"She's had so much work done that she's starting to look like her mother."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Face painting by numbers.

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

TV-Mirror.

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

Medieval Page Boy

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

The Paper Silhouette Editor

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

Stars Without Make-Up.

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'