Vampire Folklore Fan Gifts

Democrats Are Still Scared of Trump

A man's mirror reflection calls in sick one day.

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Vlad the Impala

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

Vlad the Inhaler

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"Bigfoot"

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Buoyed by his past success, William Tell sought even greater challenges,

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Tonight we are going out to plunder, lads!"

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

William Tell's lesser-known first son- Stanislaus Tell.

Pinocchio Vs. Dracula

Halloweek: Eating candy seven days straight.

Date Night

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

Edna spots the ever elusive Loch Ness Monster.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'