Value-conscious Capitalist Gifts

"I'll invest, but you must promise none of my money will go towards that Robert Mugabe."

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

World Economics

Big business is not evil

"I, too, hate being a greedy bastard, but we have a responsibility to our shareholders."

The scales between gluttony and hunger

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"He can't speak to you at the moment - he's bonding with his compensation package."

'There's a no-nonsense quality about TJ that I admire.'

Large cap funds

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

'Right here is where we adopted the practice of price gouging.'

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

Big Shot - Bigger Shot

"I got rich through hard work." "Whose?"

"I can't say I love New York, but I can say New York loves me."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

GDP

Felson, Donne, Peters & Free Market Forces

National Head Quarters - Mom & Pop Stores Incorporated

'Do you realise Jenkins, that I started this company without a penny to my name? Well, unless you count that measley couple of million my father left me. '

'The Rich Get Richer - The Poor Get Poorer'

'They're not our 'profits,' Mike. We like to think of them as the organic by-products of non-toxic capitalism!'

China gets capitalistic in its own way...: 'The Tao is up!'