Vainness Explorer Gifts

Dog Plastic Surgery.

The Vineyard

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

The discovery of electricity...

'It's an antique!'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"Professor, this changes everything."

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"You have arrived at your destination."

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Supernatural book - The Unexplained

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"Why? Because without documentation, this would be lost to history."

Walt Whitman sounds his barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

"It's really a long cave...prepare to binge watch."

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

Caveman bathroom

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

Fire first discovered here B.C.

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

"Son, talk loudly and carry a big shtick.

Trilby - 'The last they saw of Svengali'.