Vacationer Extraordinaire Gifts

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Well yes darling, we're mountain goats, but we're on holiday. Want to play with my Billy?"

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Tourists

Easter Island legs

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Working Holiday

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Hiding the electronics.

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Well, we always go to the same place for our holidays, so yes, we kind of migrate too...'

Travelling

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

Lounging by the pool

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

"...and this is one of us on the beach."

Energy saving mode

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.