Vacation Veterans Gifts

'Been there, done that' travel agency. Serving the seriously jaded tourist since 1995.

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Taking Cupid on a holiday.

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

The Desert Island Package

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

Overdoing it.

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

An aircraft marshal helps a limousine park

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

Scene on the English coast.

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

Seaside

1930's bather.

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

'My wife isn't really a morning person.'

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

'This is the last goodwill tour I do!'

Planning for retirement in a casino.

"Looks like we'll be going on holiday on our own this year."

'I was a stowaway on his cargo ship, and the rest is history.'