Vacation Strategist T-Shirts

'I'm not turning you out. It's just that I'm taking my vacation, as cat naps in half hour increments, over several months.'

The World Will End... After Labor Day

'The perfect week for my vacation. Enough work to insure I'll be missed, but not so much that I'll be overwhelmed in my post-vacation funk.'

"I schedule all my vacations around work. When the going gets tough, I get going."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Airlines

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Heading off with a packed bag

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"Life after death"

Travelogue

A holiday at home

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

School holidays

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'