Vacation Schemers Gifts

"I got 2 weeks for 20 years for my part in a time-share scam"

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

'He lives for his holidays.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Time for vacation, time for work.

Try me/try me/try me...

Tourists in Egypt

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

Summertime

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"We're here to experience pleasure."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

'What do you mean...You feel uncomfortable asking for time off?'

Old Macdonald's Hawaiian farm..

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."