Vacation Schemer Gifts

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

'He lives for his holidays.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Try me/try me/try me...

Time for vacation, time for work.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

Summertime

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"We're here to experience pleasure."

'What do you mean...You feel uncomfortable asking for time off?'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

Old Macdonald's Hawaiian farm..

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''