Vacation Expert Gifts

'The hermetically-sealed pods in the back seat are perfect for long family vacations.'

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Bad fake tan day.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Fight or Flight

Sunbathers.

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'Have a nice weekend, Alfred.'

Beach hats

"Honsetly Fred, we just got here and you want to go home."

"I only need shade for my wine."

A holiday at home

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

Taking Cupid on a holiday.

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Well Earned Vacation"

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

Call Your Office

"Noooooooooooo!"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Vacation Bus Photo

Holiday Aerobics.

"How's it look back there?"

"This is perfect. I could stay like this for the next five seconds."

Couch and Potato

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

'Think, Billy - where did you bury Dad?'

How the goat got square eyes.

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

'I'm taking vacation next week. And wouldn't you know it, the wife wants to go on a cruise.'