Va Hospital Staff Gifts

'Sorry about the long delay in getting an appointment. I know your frustration. I have been waiting two weeks for my bonus check.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Happy Birthday to you.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

Coronavirus Global Alert

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'