Utensil Appreciator Pillows

"Oh yeah, like you're a four-star fork."

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

Snapshots in Time

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

The secret lives of household things.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Future Candidates For "Colorization"

"Your antique gold watch didn't float."

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

"Careful now. It's fragile."

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

A spoon you can run away with, but a spork is the kind of practical utensil you marry.

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."

"I brought a new can opener, but let's save the old one in case we ever need a broken can opener."

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

'Hey, we're in style!'

A toaster plays fetch

Dueling marionettes.

Hair Brushing.

"I don't know who on Facebook told you, but I can assure you Stradivarius didn't make accordions!"

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

Child found in the Street is Brought into Shelter at a Ragged School

Granted. On a picnic I can appreciate the convenience of chopsporks.

Michelangelo's David

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

'I believe this is one of the original sets'

'Could you tell the court if you recognize this.'

"Life was a LOT easier before AI and the 'Internet of things'!"

Forklift truck

Yeah, I get it, it's hot - but you don

ANTIQUES: Buyers and Lookers