Urban Cafe Aficionado Gifts

"Some fresh-ground soot for your salad, sir?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Back to work...

"Two vegans, please."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

You've Had Enough!

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

How About Serving Us For a Change

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"Come in, minion."

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"