Upper-crust Comedy Lover Gifts

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Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

Eugene Ionesco

Chris O'Dowd

'Never forget, Sweetheart, it's my low comedy that keeps you in high fashion!'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'I'm looking for an assistant who can keep me in mind of how well I'm doing.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

At the Brew-haha Comedy Club

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

The Clown Hit

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

Tonight Lecture by Eastern Wise Man $25. A few words from local wise guys $1.98.

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

'And that's why I don't think that cartoon is funny.'

'You can come out now, Harold. Economists say a recession won't happen.'

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

'Hey buddy, it's supposed to be stand-UP comedy.'

'Have you noticed how similar Clegg and Cameron look?'=

Stephen Fry

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"Another impulse purchase?"

Yes, I'm sure I existed. 404 not found.