Upper-crust Comedy Lover Pillows

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Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

'I'm looking for an assistant who can keep me in mind of how well I'm doing.'

'Never forget, Sweetheart, it's my low comedy that keeps you in high fashion!'

Chris O'Dowd

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Eugene Ionesco

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

The Clown Hit

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

'And that's why I don't think that cartoon is funny.'

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

'You can come out now, Harold. Economists say a recession won't happen.'

'Hey buddy, it's supposed to be stand-UP comedy.'

'Have you noticed how similar Clegg and Cameron look?'=

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"Another impulse purchase?"

'The Angina Monologues'