Upper-crust Athlete Gifts

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

Lost Season

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

Table tennis.

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

Rugby Player

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

Gymnast's Commute

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"This has been quite a season for Zobrowsky—a hundred an twenty-nine receptions, sixteen touchdowns, a B-plus in English, a B in philosophy, an A in political science, and a B-minus in French!"

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

Bernard Hinault

'I call this exercise 'Urban Aerobics'

'Work the ring! Use the Jab! Watch out for the left hook! And turn off your iPod.'

Boy holding football.

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

Crossing the thin line into show business

' Don't you think your taking this exercise wheel a bittoo seriously?'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

'He doesn't like to catch anything - He just fishes for the exercise!'

An obstacle course for musicians,

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

Ryan Bayley

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

It's harder to pitch a perfect game in baseball than to roll a perfect game in bowling. In bowling it only takes twelve strikes.

'Putting into the in tray on his desk.'