Unusual Sports Aficionado Gifts

At the Olympic qualifiers for staring out the window

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Playing pig

Boomerang cow.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Improvised Dentistry.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

Football.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Fox hunting.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'