Unusual Humor Pillows

'I was never convicted! Doesn't that count for something!?'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Look! No hands!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

Ostriches making out

"Underweird bras."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

The circus diver.

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

"I'll have dessert first."

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

'Have a good day? No thank you. I had other plans.'

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

Man on desert island sees tightrope walker on horizon.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

Mom's Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.95.

A man walks three dogs at gunpoint

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

A bowls player bowling a bomb

At First Van Gogh attempts to impress by cutting off his ear flap.

Farmer Doll!

"It's perfect."

Vendors.

"I've just broken my glasses... Will I have to be examined all over again?"

Model Village - snort! snort! sniff!

Atlas' Shoelace Dilemma

"Harumph. Some 'sailor man.'"

Outside the Novox Genlab, a man is walking a cow.

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.