Unconventional Humor Pillows

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Wifi in Hell

"Look! No hands!"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Trump

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"I'll have dessert first."

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

'Have a good day? No thank you. I had other plans.'

Alpine Pipe

'If we're to be able to afford a cutting edge IT system then we have to make sacrifices...and you're ours.'

The sudden extinction of Neanderclowns

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

New Belief Systems

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! Kanye West said he's running for president in 2020, and I don't know whether to weep or move to Canada. Canada Canada Canada! Everybody always wants to move to Canada whenever they think the USA has taken a turn for the worse! None of you lily-livered quitters could stand a single Canadian winter, let alone stare down a moose at six paces. You want Canada? You can't handle Canada! How tall is a moose?

"It's perfect."

"Harumph. Some 'sailor man.'"

'I'm probably not gonna get a 'Like' on my facebook account after this.'

"You're going to fit right in here at the firm."

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

The Grim Raker

"Just a little bit off the top, please."

"I'm going to Princeton!"

"Now I know why those cruise tickets were so cheap!"

Giant Visitor