Unconventional Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Trappist Monk Discord

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

HELLth Food Sprouts

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Crime in bookshop

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

Men Working Things Out

Clone Factory

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Trump Tariffs

"Wow! Check out the moon."

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Inactivists"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Prescription Drugs '96.