Unusual Dinner Experiences Lover Gifts

"People never invite me out to dinner."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Is the MSG local?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

Odd Spas

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'You made me jump,'

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'Waiter there is an aeroplane in my soup!'

Spaceman serving shrimp.

"How's your meal OTHERWISE, sir?"

"Everything bagel?"

"Start Sucking!"

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"

"That! That's why I don't like Alfresco dining!"

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

'Don't be upset, the wine is off anyway.'

"I guess I shouldn't have asked for the cherries jubilee to go!"

'No more wine for me thanks Dan. That first glass went straight to my head.'

'We'll let you know in a few minutes. Right now, we're googling your chef.'

'I'll have a BLT sandwich -- hold the 'B'.'