Unusual Dinner Experiences Lover T-Shirts

"People never invite me out to dinner."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Is the MSG local?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'You made me jump,'

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

Odd Spas

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'Waiter there is an aeroplane in my soup!'

"Start Sucking!"

Spaceman serving shrimp.

"I guess I shouldn't have asked for the cherries jubilee to go!"

"That! That's why I don't like Alfresco dining!"

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"How's your meal OTHERWISE, sir?"

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

"Everything bagel?"

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

'Don't be upset, the wine is off anyway.'

'We'll let you know in a few minutes. Right now, we're googling your chef.'

'No more wine for me thanks Dan. That first glass went straight to my head.'