University Donations Gifts

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

Honey badger do care.

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"We will remember them."

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

"Trickle Down" Begins At Home

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

Peter Cruddas

"Done saving the world for today."

Contact Tree-Huggers.com for info on tax-deductible charitable trusts.

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

'Have you seen my amplifier.'

"No, there is not an annual cap on tithes."

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.