University Donations Pillows

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

The Andrews brothers had an ongoing competition of seeing who could donate a pint of blood the fastest.

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

Honey badger do care.

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"We will remember them."

"Trickle Down" Begins At Home

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

'Have you seen my amplifier.'

"Done saving the world for today."

"No, there is not an annual cap on tithes."

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

"Funding for 'Nova' is provided by Merck and Lockheed, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by annual financial support from viewers like you."

Contact Tree-Huggers.com for info on tax-deductible charitable trusts.

Peter Cruddas

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

I THINK when OXFAM suggested you buy a goat for Xmas...They meant for the third world!

Don't think of it as tithing. Think of it as a cover charge.