University Donation Pillows

"Our final honorary doctorate goes to John P. Lind, who kicked in three million clams for a chem lab."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

Honey badger do care.

"We will remember them."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"Trickle Down" Begins At Home

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'The problems with charities is that they are always needing donations.'

Thanks And Giving.

"Don't be so mean...give him some money!"

'Have you seen my amplifier.'

Contact Tree-Huggers.com for info on tax-deductible charitable trusts.

"No, there is not an annual cap on tithes."

"Done saving the world for today."

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"