Universe Speculator Gifts

Sell the Universe !

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

The Origins of Everything

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"Shall we put it in play?"

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"This just in; the Sun has exploded. Further developments in eight minutes."

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

Department of Pure Speculation.

'I still contend that we live in a finite universe.'

Wall Street Down

"Wow, it almost makes me feel as insignificant as an unpaid internship."

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'