Unique Gift Enthusiast Pillows

Retirement Presentation - Instead of a gold watch, can I have a corduroy leisure suit?

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

CEO.

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

The Re-Giving Tree

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

The polar bear's vending machine.

One of a kind.

"Read the card! Read the card!"

Christmas Dwarves

Crossword bathroom tiles.

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

I should have known the romance was gone from our relationship when...

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

'It's my stool sample.'

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."