Union Buster Gifts

"I busted unions for 30 years until the company tossed me out without a pension."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Time for More Paperwork

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Turkish Democracy

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"We need a union!'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"