Unexpected Hardship Humorist Pillows

'My life was shipshape until that iceberg came along.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

"Larry does all his own stunts."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

Bathing and Showering.

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

'Can you dance?'

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

"The adventures of Robin Hood are becoming a lot less adventurous."

"I didn't spend seventeen days climbing this bloody mountain, in all weathers, for a lecture on personal hygiene!"

'Albert Figgis gets board backing.'

'Personally, I thin the downsizing went too far.'

"Can you hear me now?"

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

Shoveling Snow

'Can‘t you knock before coming in? I could have been doing God knows what...'

Can You Dance?

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.