Unexpected Events Aficionado Pillows

'There's no easy way for me to tell you this Brad, so I'll just say it... I'm... I'm pregnant.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

"Oh, he's so romantic."

"It's our best trending merch."

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

Girl who had a bowl of trifle spilt over her dress at her court presentation party the night before

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Will You Marry Me Marcy 'Tough break, Marcy.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

"Just a signature and my alimony check."

"It's the great pumpkin massacre"

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'

"Any more autonomous republics created while I was out?"

Saddam Hussein counting the days in jail by counting missiles.

'Another war news overdose!'

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'

'She's just ring through - held up at the hairdressers.'

"...as of noon today, we became a non-profit making organisation."

Europe-migration

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

'Watkins you remember I said be prepared for the unexpected.'

"I don't care if he is one of the few dissenting voices around. Make him stop whispering in my ear!"

"It's worth it to buy the tuxedo even if you only go to two black tie events."

"I didn't know this was a formal event."

"Hi, this is RFK Jr." "Who?" "I'm just calling to remind you I'm still running for president." "Oh. Ok, now you have a good time." "I'm also calling to remind you I'm available for speaking engagements at your large rally, small rally, bar mitzvah, or assorted car wash openings." "Would you like me to speak at your function?" "Oh no, that's all right. Don't worry about it."