Unemployment Satirist Pillows

Unemployment Insurance: 'Did you look for work this week?'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

"Endless Summer III"

Concerned Colleagues

'I like your appearance. I'm sure we can find you a place in the company.'

'I'm looking for someone to bask in my glow.'

"Of course there is still a lot of stigma attached to being undead, I hardly ever get past the interview stage."

'The rich get richer, the poorer get poorer..' '..And the comfortably off stay comfortably off!'

Right,so you're looking for someone with magic circle experience in M&A ,litigation and finance with a set of blue chip clients and the freedom to work ANYWHERE...would you like them to walk on water and turn water into wine as well?

'I've got my bandages to protect me!'

'Last chance to give for next 400 yards.'

"Our plan is to hire the first person we find not under federal investigation."

"I've got to be honest. It's going to be hard to find you a position that offers 40 days of personal time."

'Can you dance?'

'No experience necessary. We'll train you!'

"What do you think of the new cubicles?"

'The destiny of untrained seals'

Job Centre: Settle for Early Retirement.

"Your resume looks good, but I'm not seeing any DNA data."

This company has enough clowns.

Personnel - "I liked the one that saluted."

"You'd make a great personal assistant, but I'm afraid the job would eat you alive."

"I'd love to give up my covid unemployment benefits to come work for you at $12 an hour. . !"

'We're really looking for an applicant who's got more snip, snail and puppy dog tail.'

"First time I've ever seen 'humdrum' in a job description."

"Don't worry, it's just temporary...'til they find a way to fire you."