Underwater Thinker Pillows

Reverse psychology

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"Cat got your tongue?"

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Fish near-death experiences.

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'If you don't stop thinking about that waitress, I'm leaving!'

'If we could just sink Noah's Ark, think of the variety of food we could sample...'

'I wish somebody would say something.'

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

'Oh, look on the bright side. At least I'm not a 500 pound Bengal tiger.'

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

"I can clearly see from the colour of your rings that your have some anger issues...!"

A sleeping man counting scuba-diving sheep

'Go fish.'

'It's very sad really - all he seems to want is closure.'

'Hey! Not fair!'

Deepwater Fish

The way I look at it...give a man a fish and you got a potential customer. Teach a man to fish and you lose market share.

'When Roger died, a little light went out.'

"Actually, I do my best thinking when Mr. Genius here is sound asleep. How about you?"

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

"According to this not only are we lost but in one way or another we've always been lost."

"So what do you do in the evenings around here?"

'You're all worked up for nothing. Just surface for a second and get some fresh air!'

If a fish farts in the ocean and no one is there to smell it, does it still stink?

'Hey, Chuck, check out Sam and that ridiculous cod piece.'