Aquatic Thinker Pillows

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Chicken soup for the sole.

"I've always wanted to live on a lake so I can go boating and fishing. Since we don't live on a lake, I thought I'd make my own."

Stop Human Footing

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Fish near-death experiences.

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

You mean this sewage has already been treated?

'Oh, look on the bright side. At least I'm not a 500 pound Bengal tiger.'

Fish-losophy

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.

"The truth is, humans aren’t smart enough to know how intelligent we are."

'Well, sorry, but I can't see anything exciting happening anytime soon...'

'It's very sad really - all he seems to want is closure.'

Business Vacation.

School of little fish scares big fish

Deepwater Fish

The way I look at it...give a man a fish and you got a potential customer. Teach a man to fish and you lose market share.

'Eat or be eaten, there must be a better way...'

'Which one do you want to read?'

"Welcome to the panel of wave and tidal experts."

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

"I always wanted to be an accountant. But I'll probably just wind up giving swimming lessons."

'You're all worked up for nothing. Just surface for a second and get some fresh air!'

If a fish farts in the ocean and no one is there to smell it, does it still stink?

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